Nam Soon-a's Gender Prism:“Work dries up in a moment after childbirth”
By Nam Soon-a
Published: June 13, 2017
Translated by Horyun Song
※ Editor’s note: The “Gender
Prism” column archives the perspectives and voices of feminists in their 20s
and 30s facing this world. The writer of this article, Nam Soon-a, is a
feminist filmmaker.
Ever since I was young, I haven’t wanted to get
married, nor have a child. I had ten thousand reasons, but to name a few, I did
not want to be forced into the role of someone’s wife, daughter-in-law, or
mother, and I feared the pain of childbirth. Above all, I’ve thought it would
be harder to work after getting married and having a child.
My friend S is going to get married. She is also
expecting a child in fall. To the unexpected marriage announcement, to the
friend whom I believed not to have marriage in her mind, I said congratulations
with mixed sentiments. Moreover, I felt perplexed with myself for feeling
something other than a pure blessing.
As many other women do, I continuously worry
about how to survive in this industry.
As a feminist woman in the male-centered film scene, I’ve chosen to
congregate with other fellow feminists (mostly women) and become allies. Though
we may not work together immediately, getting interested in each other’s
projects, analyzing the results and finding the admirable points in them,
contemplating alternative working processes and changing the industry culture,
resisting unfairness together, and sharing even the smallest part-time jobs to
earn a living in order to continue filmmaking are all ways to help each other.
Because I cannot do these alone, I have looked and am still looking for allies
to withstand together.
However, it seems like having allies alone won’t
be enough. Director K, who is ten years older than me, told me that she had
allies ten years ago, just like I do now. When I asked her where they are now,
she answered that most of them got married. Director M, who will be thirty
soon, also said many of her friends have announced marriage plans. She said
even though the number of people who say that they won’t get married may
increase, most people still end up getting married around age thirty.
When I looked around after this conversation, I
found that many women in the movie industry are either single, unmarried, or
married without a child. There was only a handful of women who continued
working after marriage and childbirth. However, surprisingly, male filmmakers
do not lose their allies because of marriage and childcare. Most of them keep
working after marriage and with children. Even when two people who are in the
same industry get married, it is the woman who usually gives up working. From
what I hear from people with married friends, it seems like the same case with personal
relationships.
We do not know how many female filmmakers have
disappeared from the industry due to marriage and childcare. I cannot fathom
how lonely the women who strived so hard to survive would have felt every time
they lost allies. Whatever field you are in, losing an ally is a monumental
loss. It is because the relationship you have built over time, collaborating with
and trusting each other, cannot be replaced overnight.
My complicated emotions after my friend S’s
marriage announcement started here. I thought that as long as I didn’t marry
and raise a child, I would be fine. However, I realized that my allies might
leave because of marriage and child care, that women ‘naturally’ lose their
allies in this process, and that many women are forced to choose either work or
family.
Director Myung Soo-hee:
“Work dries up in a moment after childbirth”
My peer, director Myung Soo-Hee, who directed the
movie 24 (2015) and is currently
raising a child, told me of her fear of career disruption. She initially
thought that childcare would be the difficult part, not realizing what it is
like to work while raising a child. Because her child vomited up formula milk,
she had to come back to where the baby was looked after to breastfeed every
three hours. And she could only edit at night when the baby was asleep. Even then,
she had to calm the baby if it woke up. It was a situation that made it
difficult to focus on work. When she was already sleep-deprived due to caring
for the child, she had to cut down on her sleep even more to work. She wanted
to raise the child well while doing the work successfully as well, but she wondered
if she was “being greedy”.
 |
| Director Myung So-hee giving an opening statement at the forum “Will I be able to film a second movie?” ⓒIndi Docu Festival |
"I took the child to the film shoot in a
baby carrier, and when the child was a little bigger, I came with a stroller.
And while I was raising the child, I didn't get any offers to work together.
Even the small assistant lecturer job for media education stopped. As someone
who did not have much experience to start with, work stopped coming all at once
after childbirth. I had never imagined that my career would be disrupted, so
when the moment happened, I was afraid."
“(...) In the end, all these problems became my ‘personal
problem’. It all came down to my ‘will’ and ‘zeal’.” (Quote from Director Myung
So-hee's opening statement "Will I, the newcomer and child-carer, be able
to make a second movie?" at Indi Docu Festival Forum “Will I be able to
film a second movie?”)
The first female Korean director, the recently
deceased Park Nam-ok, filmed The Widow
(1955) with her newborn daughter on her back. Director Kim Dong-myung, who made
The Lie (2015), said "Sometimes
I feel ashamed because when I compared myself to the ideal of the successful
woman, who is accomplished at both childcare and work. It makes me feel that
the way my life is is all my fault." (Quote from '[Special] Debate on
Sexual Assault in the Movie Industry: Independent movie directors - Kim Dong-myung,
Kim Bo-ra, Ma Min-ji, Cho Se-young', December 28, 2016)
Director Myung Sohee says that the question,
"How is the film going?" is most welcome. Those who ask the question
seem not to assume that she will give up filming because of childcare, but to believe
in her to keep working and show interest in it.
Undoubtedly, the root of this problem will not be
fixed unless society changes. As I get older, more allies and friends will
marry and have children. These days, I contemplate how I can keep the
relationships with them. Instead of feeling that they have 'vanished' or 'left’,
I want to help them if they wish to continue filming, and I also want to get
help from them. Even if they do not make films anymore, I want to find ways for
us to share our lives. I want to keep my few, hard-won allies in this industry
to the end.
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